NyQuil
by ShellyG
Summary: Double D becomes sick and begins taking NyQuil...but NyQuil can be a seductive mistress......it's pure insanity ^_^


Hey I found this on my hard drive while looking for chapter 4 of "Painful Memories". Thought it was pretty funny and decided to share it (how lucky for you all!) ^_^ I'd just like to thank an author by the name of Autumn from the X-Men movie board for the NyQuil idea. Thanx! ;)  
  
"HHAAAAAGGGGHHHKKKQQKHKKKKGGGHhuuurghHAAAGGGHKURGHKURGHHAGKURH!"  
  
"GEEZ! You dyin' or what?" Eddy asked the bed-bound Double D. The child genius began to speak, but heavy coughing interrupted him once again.  
  
Eddy shook his head while muttering, "Man, I hope I never get sick like that." Double D blew his nose and slightly smiled.  
  
Ed watched his two friends until his eyes lit up. He grabbed Double D's table light and held it over his head. "BOING! I got an idea!" he shouted before running out of the room.  
  
"At least he left the table lamp..." "At least he didn't rip out the ceiling light like last time..." Ed ran back into the room and showed the other Eds what his idea was. In his hands was a small bottle of NyQuil.  
  
"Ed takes this ALL the time!" Ed handed Double D the bottle while saying, "It'll make you feel better!"  
  
"Why...thank you Ed! I must admit I am amazed that you know what type of medication I need." Double D said, surprised.  
  
Ed stared at Double D for a second, then snatched Double D's table light and held it over his head.  
  
"BOING! I got an idea!" Ed shouted before running out of the room. He returned with yet another bottle of NyQuil.  
  
"Ed takes this ALL the time! It'll make you feel better!" Ed chirrped as he handed Double D the bottle.  
  
"Thank....you....Ed." Double D slowly said.  
  
Ed stared at Double D blankly until grabbing the table light and shouting, "BOING! I got an i-"  
  
"ENOUGH ALREADY!" Eddy bellowed while grasping Ed's wrist and thrusting him down to the floor. Ed giggled while Eddy turned to Double D and stated, "I think Ed needs some fresh air. Is it alright with you if we leave?"  
  
Double D, touched by his friends concern, replied with, "Why, of course, Eddy. I will do quite fine on my-"  
  
"OK BYE!" Eddy called, he and Ed halfway down the stairs.  
  
Double D smiled and sank into his bed. Grabbing a spoon from his table stand next to his bed, he poured a bit of NyQuil into the spoon and swallowed. Suddenly, a crazed look came across Double D's face. Grasping the NyQuil bottle, Double D licked his lips and uttered, "A little more wouldn't hurt..."  
  
Eddy an Ed were sitting on the curb outside of Double D's house, attempting to think up a scam without the brains of their operation, when Kevin rode up on his bike, with Nazz on the back.  
  
"Hey, where's Double Dork?" Kevin asked rudely. Eddy glared at Kevin for a moment before thumbing at Double D's house. "Not that it's any of your buisness, Kev-o, but Double D's really sick. He can't leave his room."  
  
A look of concern crossed Nazz's face and she turned to Kevin. "Oh Kevin! We should go check on him and see how well he's feeling!"  
  
"Oh man..."  
  
"You too, Eds!" With that Nazz, Kevin, and the remaining Eds ventured up to Double D's room, unaware the the horror that awaited them.  
  
"Double D?" Nazz called, peeking into Double D's room.  
  
The four kids slowly walked into the room until a voice from no where shouted, "SILENCE MORTALS! Have you no idea that, as we speak, international chipmunk spies are plotting my downfall?!"  
  
Kevin pulled up Double D's bed sheets to see the NyQuil-drunk Edd under his bed, with an empty fishbowl on his head.  
  
"...Double D?!" Eddy exclaimed, extremely confused.  
  
Nazz looked at the pile of empty NyQuil bottles by Double D's bed.  
  
"Double D, how much NyQuil have you had?"  
  
Double D stared blankly at Nazz before pulling out a bottle of NyQuil.  
  
"I don't know. You need to ask him." Double D said, thrusting the bottle into Nazz's face.  
  
Ed picked up Double D and looked him in the eye. Double D screeched before crawling into Ed's jacket.  
  
Ed laughed. "Double D's funny!"  
  
Eddy slowly shook his head. Double D suddenly flew out of Ends jacket, tackled Nazz, and kissed her tongue and all. He then dropped her and jumped up and down, giggling hysterically.  
  
"I KISSED YOUR GIRL! I KISSED YOUR GIRL!" Edd squealed, pointing at Kevin.  
  
"Why you!...." Kevin growled, charging at Double D.  
  
"Aw poop." Double D said before leaping out his bedroom window. Double D flew into the air.  
  
"I BELIEVE I CAN FLY! I BELIEVE I CAN TOU-" he sang before smashing against the ground.  
  
Ed, Eddy, Nazz, and Kevin rushed to Double D's window and looked down. All that was left of Double D was a body imprint.  
  
Eddy ran his fingers through his hair, murmuring, "This isn't good...."  
  
"WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH DOUBLE D?!" Kevin yelled at Ed and Eddy.  
  
The kids had all gathered at the lane to discuss the recent events.  
  
Eddy just shrugged.  
  
"Ask Ed; he gave him that NyQuil junk. But isn't this a hoot? Sockhead should be more like this everyday!" Eddy chuckled.  
  
Rolf stroked his chin before saying, "From what I have heard, it looks like Double D-Edd boy has overdosed."  
  
"Overdosed?! Double D isn't a drug addict, Rolf!" Sarah exclaimed as Jimmy cringed. "Double D as a drug addict? Who would've thought?.  
  
"NyQuil can be a seductive mistress." Rolf replied, a stern look on his face.  
  
"He's a great kisser." Nazz sighed.  
  
She realized what she said and giggled as the kids looked at her in disbelief, Eddy and Kevin slightly upset.  
  
"What's that buddy?" Jonny said to Plank. He held the piece of wood close to his ear, then exclaimed, "You always know what to do Plank, 'ol buddy! What would we ever do without you?"  
  
"What? What did the termite bait say?" Eddy questioned.  
  
"Plank said that he knows about the powers that NyQuil possess, and that Double D's probably at the creek!"  
  
The kids glanced at each other for a moment, then dashed off to the creek. 'Sometimes I worry about that balloon head." Eddy thought. He then chuckled. 'Heh. Balloon head. I crack me up."  
  
When the kids arrived at the creek they saw Double D's head, halfway out of the water, looking at them. Eddy approached his friend slowly.  
  
"Double D....we're here to help you.....come out of the water please..."  
  
Suddenly Edd leaped out of the water and landed on the ground gracefully. Hand on his hips, he shouted, "BEHOLD MY GLORIOUS BODY!"  
  
The kids gasped and starred in disbelief as an intoxicated Double D strutted around, butt-naked.  
  
"NAZZ! SARAH! PROTECT YOURSELF FROM THIS SHOW OF FLESH!" Rolf exclaimed before tackling the two girls to the ground.  
  
"ED! HELP ME CATCH DOUBLE D!" Eddy shouted as he chased his friend.  
  
"The race in on!" Ed proclaimed before humming the Mission Impossible song.  
  
"They're after me lucky charms!" Double D stated, skipping/running from Ed and Eddy.  
  
"HEY SOCKEHEAD! GET BACK HERE AND PUT ON YOUR CLOTHES!" Eddy yelled, tired of seeing the naked backside of his friend.  
  
"Run run as fast as you can you can't catch me because i'm the Gingerbread Man!" Double D sang before being tackled by Ed.  
  
"Good job lumpy!" Eddy said as he began to put Double D's clothes on his sick friend.  
  
"Ed! What are you doing?!" Eddy exclaimed when he realized Ed was chewing on Double D.  
  
"I love gingerbread!" Ed said gleefully.  
  
"You're a freak, you know that?" Eddy murmured.  
  
Finally Double D was clothed. The kids approached the boys as Edd rocked back and forth in a fetal position, sucking his thumb. Rolf kneeled beside the drunk genius and said softly, "No more NyQuil for you, sock-in-head-Edd- boy."  
  
The tortured NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Double D screamed could be heard throughout the cul-de-sac.  
  
Double D leapt up to his feet, shouting, "YOU COULD NEVER SEPERATE US! WE'RE MEANT TO BE!"  
  
Edd then took a 2-liter bottle of NyQuil from his back pocket and chugged the whole thing in front of the stunned kids. He then cart wheeled into the woods, escaping the world that refused to let him have his beloved elixir of life.  
  
"MARIE! WHERE ARE MY HAIRPINS?!" Lee shouted to her sister.  
  
"IN THE BATHROOM WHERE THEY ALWAYS ARE! USE YOUR BRAIN FOR ONCE!" Marie retorted from another room.  
  
Lee walked into their bathroom and began to open a drawer when she heard the shower running.  
  
"May? Is that you?" Lee questioned, approaching the shower.  
  
Suddenly the shower curtains flew open and Double D pulled Lee inside.  
  
"DOUB-" Lee began before Double D put a hand over her mouth. Thankfully, he was clothed.  
  
"Shhhhhh. The world is against me and my love!" Double D pulled a travel size bottle of NyQuil out of his hat and held it to his ear.  
  
He giggled, then said, "The NyQuil says I will be safe in this exotic and tropical hideout with the three lovely Kanker sisters!"  
  
Lee's eyes grew wide when she heard this. Pushing Double D's hand away, she turned of the shower and grinned.  
  
"You want to stay with us, handsome?" She exclaimed, surprised.  
  
"Of course! No one would ever think of finding me here in the golden temple of the sickly medicine gods!" Double D replied.  
  
Lee grabbed Double D's hand and led him out of the bathroom, saying, "You're going to just love it here Double D. OOOOOHHH GIIIRRRRLLLLLLSSSSS!!!..........." 


End file.
